


You'll Never Feel Like You're Alone.

by brooklynbis



Series: Harry's Adventures With 'The Pissing Evil'. [7]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Anxiety, Blood Tests, Chronic Illness, Crying, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Hurt/Comfort, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Needles, Non-Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis Tomlinson, Panic Attacks, Protective!Louis, Sick!Harry, Sickfic, diabetic!harry, diabetic!harry au, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis is a great boyfriend, supportive!louis, they drink a lot of tea, type one diabetes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:11:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17580596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklynbis/pseuds/brooklynbis
Summary: Harry knew he was being irrational at this point. He knew he should be used to the needles, the injections, the blood tests by now, but he just couldn't adjust.And now it was time for his blood tests again._________________________AKA Harry really, really hates blood tests and nobody quite understands why. Louis is a supportive, understanding boyfriend.





	You'll Never Feel Like You're Alone.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic doesn't really link to any of the other fics explicitly as they aren't famous in this one, but it could link to any of the others if you ignore that detail
> 
> again, this is mainly based off my own experience here (very heavily in fact). all systems used will be british as I'm from the UK, hopefully that doesn't get too confusing for anyone. I essentially love pushing my own feelings and situations onto characters since I cannot get this comfort irl lmao.
> 
> trigger warnings : blood tests, panic attacks  
> title from 'Home' by One Direction (aka Louis' love song to Harry)
> 
> comments, feedback and kudos would be appreciated if you enjoyed, plus any prompts which you can leave in the comments or in my tumblr ask box @/brooklynbis

Harry knew he was being irrational at this point. He knew he should be used to the needles, the injections, the blood tests by now, but he just couldn't adjust. 

Even before he was diagnosed, he had hated needles intensely. Usually before each vaccination that his mum dragged him to, he would have a panic attack. Anne never quite understood his intense hatred of the needles, she and Gemma had never minded them that much, and no matter how many jabs he had, his fear never lessened in its extremity. 

And then he was diagnosed, and suddenly he was having panic attacks left right and center every time she would bring out the insulin pen to inject her son. Her young, eleven year old son, who didn't even really understand what a panic attack was, other than him hating them. 

And as he grew older, and spent every day using needles, and every few months having blood tests, people expected him to improve. People expected his tolerance of needles to increase, he expected it himself. And, to an extent, it did. For the most part, he barely flinched when giving his insulin now, which was an improvement ten years on, but every now and again, he would become paralysed with the fear of giving the injection, to the point of a panic attack, and nobody would care anymore. He would spend days after that not being able to give his injections, leading to him being high all the time because nobody cared to help him, determined he was just being a baby. 

Blood tests weren't even worth mentioning to him. He didn't tend to go to the appointments to have them done. He couldn't bring himself to do it. 

And then Louis came into his life. 

_____________________________________

"My mum wants us to go and visit soon, for the weekend or something," Harry said as he cuddled into Louis' side after a long day of work. 

"That'd be nice, missed her and Gem a lot. When were you thinking?" Louis replied quietly as he flicked through the DVD selection they had. 

"I don't know, maybe a couple of weeks or so from now? I need to book a weekend off work so we can go," Harry shrugged as he played with Louis' fingers absentmindedly. 

"Sounds good, love." Louis smiled as he wrapped his arms fully around Harry, putting the subtitles on the film he had selected before they went quiet, shuffling around every now and again to remain comfortable. 

"You alright love? You look a bit pale," Louis said quietly as he looked down at Harry, who was completely absorbed in the movie on the screen. 

"Can't be arsed to test. Can you just get me a can please?" Harry murmured as he moved slightly so Louis could get up. He didn't bother pausing the film as he walked into the cold, small kitchen and grabbed the can Harry requested, as well as the testing kit from the counter. He didn't say anything as he sat down, grabbing Harry's hand gently and only getting his attention when he pricked his finger with the small device. 

"Don't give me that look, you can't just be guzzling coke just because you can't be arsed," Louis said with his eyebrows raised as he didn't take his eyes off what he was doing. 

"Y'know, out of context," Harry said with a smirk as he wiped his finger on his black jeans. 

"Oh, shut up. Now you can have it," Louis replied as he handed the can to Harry after confirming he was actually hypo. 

"Oh, why thanks for your permission," Harry said sarcastically whilst opening the can and snuggling into Louis' side again. 

"Anytime, love," Louis chuckled as they focused back onto the movie. 

____________________

"Harry!" He heard his name called as he got out of the passenger seat of the car, popping open the boot to grab his and Louis' bags. Before he had a chance to grab them, he had his arms full of his mum, which brought a smile to his face. 

"Hi, mum. Missed you," he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she chuckled before pulling away slightly. 

"I missed you too, love. Both of you! You're not allowed to leave it this long without visiting in future, I forbid it," Anne warned as she hugged Louis. 

"Well, I did mention it a few times," Louis said with a smirk as Harry gasped. 

"No you never! We were both busy with work," Harry said, sticking his tongue out at his fiance as he grabbed the bags and shut the boot carefully. 

"You haven't been struggling again, have you?" Anne asked worriedly as she led the boys into the house. 

"No, things have just been a bit tighter this month so we both picked up extra shifts, nothing to worry about Mum," Harry said as he squeezed Louis' hand. That hadn't been his view three weeks ago when he had a small breakdown over their finances, but his mum didn't have to know that. 

"Because you know I'm more than happy to help you out if you need it. Can't have my boys going hungry," She said as Harry smiled. 

"Funnily enough, mum has said the exact same to us countless times," Louis chuckled as Anne set about making some tea for the three of them. 

"See, great minds think alike. We'll have to all meet up again sometime soon, I haven't seen them and the kids in ages," Anne commented. 

"Yeah, course. As soon as the weather's good enough, we could have a barbeque again," Harry suggested as Louis and Anne hummed their agreements. 

"When's Gemma turning up then? Has she actually left her place yet?" Harry chuckled as Anne shook her head. 

"Nope, I think she said she was leaving Edinburgh soon though, so probably this evening," Anne said as she set the mugs down in front of them. 

"Good, been a long time since I've seen that idiot."

____________________

They'd had a great day. Anne had cooked an amazing meal for the four of them once Gemma had turned up. Louis and Harry had offered to do the washing up whilst Anne and Gemma caught up, since they had been here a few hours already. 

"I see where you get your good cooking from," Louis commented as he scrubbed another plate, as Harry dried a pan. 

"It's not good cooking, it's basic cooking, but you never quite learnt how to do that, did you precious?" Harry teased as he booped Louis' nose and he pretended to bite his finger playfully. 

"Don't forget about the chicken and mash, I can make that. It's a start," Louis defended himself as Harry laughed. 

"Hm, yes I remember that, but I also remember the time you ruined a pan because you didn't know you needed water to cook rice," Harry chuckled as Louis dried his hands and swatted at him with the tea towel. 

"Shut it curly," Louis muttered as he helped Harry finish drying the dishes. 

"You two better not be in there making out, or I swear to God!" Gemma called from the living room just as they were about to kiss. 

"And the award for cockblocker of the year goes to," Louis muttered, but Harry could detect the fondness in his tone. Louis and Gemma had clicked from the moment Harry had introduced the two of them, often teaming up to annoy Harry. 

"Alright Styles, we're coming," Louis called as Harry quickly kissed him anyway. 

"So, how's the new job going?" Harry asked as he and Louis sat down on the sofa, Louis instantly swinging an arm around Harry's shoulders. 

"Great actually, they really like me which is good. They told me the other day about a stylist job within the company that I might go for," Gemma replied excitedly.

They spent a good hour or so chatting and catching up before Anne turned on the TV and some of their attention diverted to whichever soap she had put on. There was still chatter, but it was much quieter now as the evening drew in. 

"I'm gonna go make some tea, anyone want some?" Louis announced after a while, chuckling slightly when all three Styles said yes. He patted Harry's thigh before he got up and left the room. 

"So, when's the wedding? Haven't had an excuse to dress up for a while," Gemma said whilst wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

"Not yet, Gem. We need to save for it, and who wants a wedding in the dead of winter anyway?" Harry said as he opened his phone to check his emails. "Plus, I quite like being able to call him my fiance for a minute," Harry continued with a smile on his face as he clicked the latest one. 

"I've actually always wanted a winter wedding. It's snowed in Edinburgh already, imagine having a snowy wedding Mum! The aesthetic would be amazing..." Gemma's voice drowned out as Harry focused in on the email he was reading before it hit him. 

They wanted him to have a blood test again. 

He knew that blood tests were normal, especially for a diabetic like him, and he knew he should be used to them, but something about them just terrified him. It didn't help that one time, his nurse didn't appear to know what she was doing, and had to try jabbing the needle into his arm ten different times before she got any blood. He was sure that hadn't helped his fear.

But he could've sworn it was only a few weeks since he last had a blood test. He shouldn't need another one, not yet. He couldn't have another one yet. 

"Haz?" He faintly heard, snapping him out of his thoughts when he realised he couldn't breathe, or move and he was scared, and the one person who knew how to calm him down wasn't here and he couldn't breathe- 

"Louis!" He could hear Gemma yell before the blood rushing through his ears took over his hearing, his heart pounding in his chest as the phone dropped out of his hand and bounced onto the floor, probably smashing. 

Louis was in the kitchen bobbing the tea bags in the mugs when he heard Gemma yell his name, making his heart stop slightly as he dropped the spoon and ran into the living room. 

"What's happening to him?" Gemma said, looking at Louis with wide eyes as his eyes snapped over to Harry and he swore quietly. 

"Right, can you turn off the TV a minute? Or just mute it, I don't care either way. Give him some space," Louis said as he strided over to where Harry was sat, sitting on the coffee table in front of him as he tried to get Harry to look at him. 

"I was only talking about the wedding, he's never freaked out like this before," Gemma babbled as Anne sat, frozen to her chair as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. The comment made Louis frown in confusion, Harry never had a panic attack over talking about the wedding. 

"It won't have been that. Hazza, love, can you hear me?" Louis asked softly as he grabbed at his hands. 

"Why wouldn't he be able to hear you? Is it more than just a panic attack? Oh my god..." Gemma panicked as Louis focused all of his energy on the terrified boy sat in front of him. 

"C'mon Gem, let's give them some space," Anne coaxed as she got Gemma off the sofa and left the room, with a nod to Louis. With only the two of them in the room now, Louis had no other distractions. 

"Haz? C'mon love, take some deep breaths. You're doing so well," Louis encouraged. He could see that his voice wasn't registering in Harry's mind, so he continued, trying to break through his thoughts. 

"Love, I know you're scared, but you're doing so well Haz, I promise you," He tried, smiling when he noticed recognition come into Harry's eyes. 

"L-Lou," He choked out as he gripped his fists tightly to Louis' hoodie, desperation clear in his eyes. 

"I know, Haz, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Take some deep breaths for me," Louis instructed as he used his free hand to stroke Harry's cheek soothingly. 

"Yeah, that's right, use my breathing. You're doing so well," Louis encouraged quietly as Harry moved his hand to be flat against Louis' chest. Louis made the effort to exaggerate his breathing so it was easier for Harry to follow. 

He could see him getting frustrated at himself when he lost it a few times. 

"Shh, you're doing so well Haz, I'm so proud of you," Louis told him. It took a few more minutes before Harry's tears lessened, before his body slumped from the exhaustion of the panic attack. 

"Cuddle," he murmured, almost as a whisper, but Louis picked it up, quickly moving to Harry's side on the sofa as he snuggled into his side, arms wrapping tightly around Louis' torso. 

"Shh, I've got you," Louis whispered into his hair as Anne entered the room again, carrying the two mugs of tea that Louis never got the chance to finish making. 

"Thanks," Louis said quietly, giving a smile to Anne which she returned before leaving the two alone again. 

"I feel like a right idiot," Harry mumbled, not moving as he spoke. Louis sighed. 

"You don't have to, nobody minds." 

"No, but it makes Mum and Gemma uncomfortable. Why do you think they left? They don't get it, I just made things ten times more awkward," Harry said. 

"Maybe, but you didn't make things more awkward. What triggered it?" Louis asked carefully, not wanting to trigger another one. 

"Blood test," Harry just about managed to choke out before he took a few moments to steady his breathing again to prevent another attack. 

"It's alright Haz, we'll get through it, yeah? But we won't think about it for now, let's just enjoy the weekend, yeah?" Louis suggested as Harry nodded. 

"Can you test me? Can't tell if it's hypo or panic," Harry asked shyly as Louis smiled reassuringly and nodded, gently removing Harry's arms from behind him and left the room, entering the kitchen where Anne and Gemma were stood, both looking worried. 

"I really don't understand. How do you cope with it so well?" Anne asked quietly as Louis moved around the kitchen to find the coke can that Harry might need. 

"He needs me, so I put my own feelings aside. Took a while, but eventually I learned what he needs," Louis shrugged as he didn't look at the two women. 

"Yeah, but how do you help if you don't understand why he's so wound up?" Gemma asked as Louis stopped and looked at them. 

"It's generally the same stuff. It doesn't matter why he's wound up, if he's nervous or worried or scared, it's all the same. The cause doesn't matter, at least not in that moment, you just focus on calming him down instead," Louis answered as Anne sighed. 

"What caused it? Was it actually the wedding talk?" Gemma asked anxiously. 

"No, he got an email telling him he needed to book in for another blood test," Louis told her as she breathed out a sigh of relief, knowing she hadn't been the cause of the panic attack.

"But he deals with needles every day, I don't understand why that's so different," Anne sighed as she sat down at the dining table. 

"I don't know. The point is that it is different in his mind, even if he doesn't quite get it himself. Whatever his reasoning is, it's valid, even if nobody quite gets it." 

"Honestly, I feel like such a shit mum to him sometimes," Anne said quietly to herself as Louis sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"Don't, Anne. You're an amazing mum to him, and he loves you. It's just tricky to deal with, for everyone. I have moments where the confusion overtakes me, where I don't know how to deal with it. We all get scared, but we're all doing our best for him because we love him, yeah?" Louis encouraged, grabbing the testing bag as both nodded. 

"I'm gonna test him a minute. He might wanna go to bed, I don't know yet. You can come back in now if you want," Louis informed them before leaving. Harry had adjusted himself so that he was lying down on his mum's sofa, almost asleep as he waited for Louis to return. 

"Sorry," Louis whispered when he startled Harry by pricking his finger as gently as he could. Harry didn't say anything, only letting his eyes drift close once he had one of his hands interlocked with Louis'. 

"You're not hypo, Haz, probably just the effects of the panic attack," Louis whispered to him as he hummed an agreement. 

"So I can't even do anything about the shaking?" Harry sighed as he opened his eyes and watched Louis move across the room to put the testing kit by the door so they didn't forget it on their way to bed later. 

"Drinking coke will probably just make it worse Hazza. Cuddle instead?" Louis offered as Anne and Gemma came back into the room, holding fresh cups of tea since everyone's had gone cold during Harry's panic attack. Harry took the mug gratefully from his mum, waiting until Louis was sat down before he curled up into a little ball in his side, shifting over slightly so Gemma could sit on the sofa too. 

"I'm sorry," He mumbled once everyone had settled into a comfortable silence, watching the TV that was now on a low volume with subtitles. 

"What for?" Gemma asked as she took a sip of her tea.

"Making you both uncomfortable," Harry shrugged, as if it were normal. Anne turned around in her chair to face him, a serious expression on her face. 

"It wasn't your fault Harry. It was just that neither of us understood how to help you like that, and Louis did. We thought it was best to leave him take care of you rather than try and interfere with something we didn't understand and risk making it worse," Anne said as Harry avoided eye contact with her. 

"Lou always calms me down," Harry mumbled as his eyes drifted closed again, the warmth of Louis' body pressed against his, along with the effects of the panic attack beginning to set in, made him very sleepy. 

"He's good for you Haz," Gemma said as she ruffled his curls affectionately, smiling at Louis when she looked at him. 

"Thank you," he mouthed to her, not wanting to disturb the half sleep Harry had fallen into. 

Gemma didn't bother replying, just shaking her head fondly as she watched him cuddle her brother closer, resting his cheek on top of Harry's head. 

They really were made for each other. 

__________________________________

"Harry, love, I know you don't want to go, but I'm gonna be right there. It'll be a couple minutes, if that, and then we'll have the whole day together, yeah?" Louis said as he entered the bedroom for the fourth time that morning. He knew today was be difficult to get Harry out of bed, but he hadn't anticipated the amount of tears he had encountered before 9am. 

"I-I can't," Harry sniffled from under the duvet, only looking out from where he'd huddled beneath it when he felt Louis crouch down beside his side of the bed, gently running his hand through the tuft of curls that was poking out over the edge of the covers. 

"You can, because you're so strong baby. You're so incredibly brave, and afterwards I'm gonna treat you like a prince, yeah?" Louis promised as Harry shook his head adamantly. 

"'M an adult, I can choose not to go," Harry mumbled determinedly, as Louis sighed again. 

"Yeah, you can, love. But I'd like you to have it done, just to put my mind at ease. Please? For me?" Louis asked quietly as he made eye contact with Harry again, giving him the look he knew Harry couldn't refuse. 

"You promise you'll stay?" He asked apprehensively as Louis nodded in the blink of an eye. 

"When have I ever left you darling? C'mon, we'll be late otherwise," Louis said as he gently inched the cover back, smiling when Harry didn't resist him anymore, letting the covers fall away. 

"I'll go gather our things, yeah? Meet you downstairs in a minute?" Louis asked as Harry stood up, sighing but nodding. He couldn't help the small smile that graced his lips as Louis stood on his tiptoes to give Harry a soft kiss on the cheek before leaving him alone again. 

Harry was shaking with nerves as he carefully changed his boxers and socks, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and one of Louis' hoodies, quick to pull the hood up over his curls. As soon as he had done that, he sat on the bed for a moment and took a moment to try and steady his breathing, determined not to have a panic attack this time. He wanted to make Louis proud. 

"Harry, love? You ready?" Louis called from downstairs as Harry sighed, not bothering replying as he dragged his body off the bed and down the stairs, where he was met by Louis giving him a warm smile as he outstretched his hand. 

"You got this, yeah?" Louis told him as Harry gripped onto his hand, letting him be led out to Louis' car, climbing into the passenger's seat without a word. 

"I love you," Harry said quietly once Louis had started the engine. 

"Love you too. Always." 

_________________________

"Mr Harry Styles to room 12," Harry froze as he heard his name be called over the speaker, eyes wide in fright. Louis could feel how much he was shaking by the hand he gripped firmly in his, trying his best to reassure Harry. 

"Shh, c'mon," Louis whispered to him as he led him out of the eerily silent waiting room, and down the corridor that pointed towards room 12. 

"Lou, I can't," Harry froze outside of the door, making Louis frown slightly in concern. 

"You feeling alright? You wanna test a minute? I'm sure the nurse won't mind waiting a few minutes," Louis asked him as he nodded, stopping Louis from moving closer towards the door by grabbing him. 

"Can I just... Have a moment? Please?" He asked desperately as Louis frowned, moving closer towards Harry when he noticed how pale he had turned. He let Harry put his hands on his shoulders, pulling him into a hug in the hallway, letting him feel the steady rise and fall of his chest. 

"You're gonna be okay Haz, I promise," Louis murmured into his ear as he nodded, swallowing a few times before looking at Louis, fear clear in his eyes. 

"Let's go," He whispered, and that was all the confirmation Louis needed to knock on the nurse's door and open it before Harry could change his mind. 

"Ah, Mr Styles! Come on in, take a seat. Just a routine blood test today, yeah?" The nurse confirmed as she gave him a warm smile. 

"Yeah, I think that's all," Louis replied on his behalf, sitting down the chair beside him, letting Harry take his hand gently. 

"Right then, shouldn't be a long appointment then. How have you been?" She asked, trying to make conversation to distract Harry as she prepared the needle, but he was hyperfocusing on the equipment she had in her hands. She didn't appear to mind that he didn't give a response, taking his free arm gently and unfolding it, wiping the elbow crease with the wipe as she felt for a vein. 

"Lou," Harry said, looking at Louis when he felt her tapping on his arm for veins. 

"Shh, it's alright love. Don't look, just keep looking at me, yeah?" Louis encouraged as he wrapped an arm around the younger boy's shoulders, pulling him into his side. As soon as he was there, Harry buried his face into the material of Louis' jacket so he couldn't see anything. 

"Remember what we're gonna do afterwards? Gonna take you to see that movie you've wanted to see for a while, aren't I? And we're gonna get a big bucket of popcorn. Who was in the film again?" Louis whispered quietly in his ear, trying his best to distract Harry. 

"Rami Malek- ow!" Harry whimpered as he was cut off by the nurse putting the needle in his arms, and Louis was almost sure he was cutting off the circulation in his hand, but he couldn't complain. 

"Shh, you're doing so well angel, almost there now. Have I got some competition there with Mr Malek?" Louis teased as Harry shook his head adamantly, eyes still screwed close. 

"Never. Love you," Harry mumbled, making Louis smile as he made eye contact with the nurse. 

"And all done!" The nurse announced, making Harry open his eyes slightly to check she was right, giving a weak smile when he noticed her holding a cotton ball to his elbow to stop the bleeding. 

"'M so proud of you Haz," Louis mumbled to him as the nurse stuck some identification stickers onto the bottles of Harry's blood. 

"I'll get these sent off to the lab and they'll send you the results in a couple of weeks or so, lovely seeing you!" She said as Louis got up from the chair, thanking her as Harry did the same and followed Louis out of the room. 

"Rami Malek then?" Louis asked as they walked back down the corridor. 

"Rami Malek." Harry confirmed with a nod of his head, seeming a lot more relaxed now that the test was over with. "Oh, and Ben Hardy too. You might have some competition there, he is fine," Harry said with a smirk as Louis gently smacked his shoulder. 

"Personally I think I'm much better looking than him," Louis said with a chuckle. 

"Mhm, but you haven't seen him playing Roger Taylor, woo boy is he something else then," Harry teased as he linked his arm through Louis' as they left the doctor's building. 

"Just kidding. Nobody's prettier than you." Harry whispered as he kissed Louis' shoulder briefly, making Louis grin as he unlocked the car. 

"Well, except for you," Louis retorted, making Harry shake his head fondly. 

"Agree to disagree. I love you, thank you for being here today," Harry said as they slammed the car doors, shutting out the outside world. 

"I love you too, there's no place I'd rather be than by your side, Haz."


End file.
